Hey there!
Let's take a drive down a country road, turn up the music and just catch up. I love when I hop on here to just chat with you. I feel like I am sitting across from a dear friend, and honestly... I am! We may be miles apart, but I truly feel like I am writing to a friend so thank you for taking the time to read my blog.
Life has been just a tad bit crazy lately and I made the intention at the start of 2023 that my motto this year was to slow down. I do feel like I am finding moments to slow down and just be, but I also feel like I need to hustle a bit to get to where I want to go and that's okay! It is all about the yin and yang.
I sent out an email not too long-ago titled "How are you Really" by Jenna Kutcher. When I ask myself that question and sit to ponder how I really feel, I get a nervous feeling in my stomach. Honestly, I am doing better than I was before the holidays and I feel like I have made it to the top of the hill, but I have been in a challenging season. Part of me knows that God is using this season to prepare me for seasons to come but that doesn't make this season any easier. It would be an understatement to say we have a lot going on in our lives right now. We are living out of boxes, building a house, raising a toddler, growing our business, working full time and with all of that still prioritizing time for fun.
The other day I was having coffee with my grandma, and she asked, "do you think sharing so much online helps or hinders your ability to cope with stresses?" Her question took be by surprise and I had to sit there a minute and think about my answer to that. Not everyone loves to share their personal lives on social media. Tyler rarely if at all shares posts on Facebook. I know many people who would rather just stay off of it. For me, I have always loved to write and journal. I started my blog back in 2015 (when my only readers were my parents... haha thanks mom and dad!) as a way to share about life on the farm. It has now morphed into a life journal. I think we all have our own ways of processing our emotions, both good and bad. If I can share my thoughts with you and maybe, just maybe, help someone else or another person can relate, it is worth it! It is a way for me to connect with my own thoughts but also with those around me. I like to think I am creating a positive space on the internet.
I have always considered myself to be a positive person. I tend to look for the bright side and I like to believe everyone is doing the best that they can. I have a strong faith and I don't usually dwell on the things I can't control. For the most part, I can sleep at night and stresses from the day don't keep me up. I think this is because I am able to compartmentalize things that are going on in my life, whether it is work, the business, family life, etc.
But lately I have been feeling more anxiety. My adrenaline is either in flight or fight mode at least a few times a day. That can't be good for my health or cortisone levels.
I had someone tell me the other day that I look really happy, and it stopped me in my tracks. I am really happy, when I think about where we are at, where we are going and our many blessings... I am extremely happy. I love the life I live! When I think about my roots, I am really honestly happy. Can we be happy and anxious at the same time? Can we count our blessings and be praying for progress simultaneously? Adulting is challenging, there is so much we are responsible for day in and day out. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being a kid again.
My stress and anxiety are stemming from a place of being unsettled. I know this season is temporary, and part of me is telling myself to rise above, to not let it get me down, but I have moments where I feel like cussing or throwing something lol. It is embarrassing to admit but this season has had series of frustrating moments. We are doing such wonderful things but the behind the scenes haven't been perfect.
Our house progress has been slow. It hasn't been the easiest process. We began the conversation with my grandma about buying land almost 3 years ago. We started the house design process about a year and a half ago. Prices keep rising, supply chain was an issue and weather delays have been a thing. It has tested my patience and my emotions are all over the place. BUT we have walls! I started writing this post before we went out to the farm to see if any progress was made. I can tell my energy is different today now that I know we have walls up! Eric with Cline Post and Frame has been wonderful to work with! His quality of work goes above and beyond! Eric is planning to get as much done this week with the framing and walls and hopefully in the next week or so, we will see metal on the sides and a roof completed!
We recently picked out the front doors, trim and hardware! We will have a double black front door with white doors and black handles for the bedroom and bathroom doors. The inside will also have white trim! I am beginning to think about paint colors. I really don't know what color I should go with. I think the bedrooms will have an accent wall but for the rest of the house I am leaning towards a cozy white.
Along with the house build, we have an energetic two-year-old running around! Dean and I had such a wonderful Christmas break together. I was home for almost two weeks with him! We focused on potty training, and it was such a bonding experience. I was really nervous to begin the process, but I knew he was showing signs of readiness. I decided to take a short e-course on the subject. The whole week went so much smoother than I was expecting. We did a countdown leading up to no diapers and we just really hyped it up! I personally went with the 3-day method, and it seemed to work well for us, but every family is different. I think you have to choose what is best for you. We have just a few accidents and we don't always make it through bedtime, but for the most part Dean is out of diapers! Even outings to the store, church, etc. are going well! I bought a fold up potty seat that fits nicely into our diaper bag. If you are interested in learning more about our experience or what I purchased, just let me know!
On a personal note, I have really been noticing the beauty of my surroundings. This past fall I took note of the changing leaves and how fleeting the season was. Same with winter, there was ice coating tree branches and fences over the weekend, it was a winter wonderland. I paused and really soaked in the beauty. As soon as the sun came out the ice began to melt, and it reminded me that we can find the pockets of joy and beauty in our everyday moments.
Along with taking time for nature, I have really been prioritizing my health. Wellness is something I have been passionate about for a long time, but I think in the last year or so, I have just been so overwhelmed that I rushed through the motions. We can't control a lot in our lives, but we can control how we feel. I don't want to feel anxious. I don't want to feel impatient, tired, or frustrated. I want to feel energetic and vibrant.
Each morning I begin my day with movement. It looks different day to day and week to week. I like to follow a program that allows me to be challenged. Sometimes I like more intense programs and other times I slow it down.
After I work out, I like to sit down to journal/pray and read a PD book or a bible study. This grounds me before the day begins. Waking up an hour early used to be so challenging but as I practiced the routine, it soon became something I look forward to. I need that "me" time before the rest of the fam wakes up. My morning routine isn't always perfect. Today I didn't have time to journal or read before I had to get ready, but it isn't about perfection, it is about intention.
Megan and I have a new episode on our podcast, M&M Chat, where we discuss our wellness goals and how small changes can make big impact. We have big plans for the podcast this year. Check it out and let us know what your goals are for 2023!
Well, if you are still here, if you reached the end of this post, thank you! Thank you for reading and thank you for taking a drive with me!
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